Dear Hearts,
Are you lying?
Do you know the difference between what is true and false?
Have you noticed how easy it is to tell yourself a fib, to live a little fantasy,
to let what is untrue grab hold of you?
We all make promises to God, to ourselves and our dearest ones. We all break them.
We make omissions in our stories, or narrate an experience with grand exaggeration.
We hide our secrets in the psyche’s basement pretending we have none. We deny our deepest truth.
Honesty is perhaps the first attribute a student of Jesus need cultivate. It might be described as consistency of the words and wisdom of God through me, not just with others but with self. It’s not that I will be punished for my facade but trust is impossible to the imposter.
All deception is Self-deception and erodes our capacity for fidelity and peace. The Truth of God never leaves us, never changes. We always leave the Truth. We seem to forget who we are and our purpose here. We venture to believe illusions and fantasies.
The poem below was written back in the sunny days of August. It is about my relationship with Jesse, (Jesus) and a promise to write as purely as possible, desiring to be a channel of His beauty and love.
On this night, I found myself shutting God out. I found my thoughts to be allied with temptation. It is not only MaryBeth who promises fidelity and honesty. God too has promised this and the bliss of knowing S/he is trustworthy in love.
Night Vigil
Keep a night vigil.
It is easy as pie not to lie in the day.
Truth is, you are wary of all that visibility
and who might see you when the light is so bright.
But in the dark
under the influence of a tide changing moon,
you might,
when no one seems to be watching,
choose something lesser than truth.
Oh God! Do not do that!
Become witness to your choices.
Remember you have already committed
to living breathing-poetry,
to purity.
If you must,
gather the trash in your heart-yard
and build a fire.
I will sit with you there
as that foul smelling pyre brings light
to our writing.
Seeing my face against that flame
you will not forget the promise.
We will kiss and write and kiss and write
and kiss until owls break our vigil-bliss
with their whoo whoot who?
whoo, whoot, who?
The answer will be clear.